Designer Diary: Melt London – Come Fly With Me
17-01-2008
From two
weeks of sunshine and colour to grey, damp and dull……………what a difference a day
makes. Or more precisely 9 hours, flown from Bombay to London, courtesy (I use
the term loosely) of British Airways.
This is a
company sorely in need of a fashion make-over, a challenge for the likes of
Trinny and Susannah if ever I saw one.
At the
risk of sounding ageist, bad haircuts, poor make-up, and last century’s
uniforms wouldn’t look great on the young and beautiful, so when sported by the
very mature and flight jaded, it is definitely not a good advert for flying the
flag. 2008 seems a good time to call in
some of the great styling talents that we produce in this country, and have
them put a new face on the B.A product. In fact
it’s a great opportunity!
I can see
it now………a fabulous reality show is born and televised worldwide. Presented by
Willie (B.A’s chief honcho) with his side kick Shazza, from trolley dolly
grooming, plus Stella McCartney to give the program status and an eco friendly
touch.
Their
mission will be to find the worst turned out member of staff, and using no
money whatsoever (as Willie is worried about his profits), Shazza and Stella
will then miraculously create a star.
No
chemicals will be used, no make-up will be tested on animals or small children,
and much will be made of the word organic.
The
viewers will totally forget that this is a gas guzzling airline with a massive
carbon footprint. Instead they will be entranced by the re-cycled forest
friendly books used as balance for deportment lessons, and thrilled by the rock
chick uniform hand stitched in organic cotton, by Stella herself. Then finally,
all will be wowed by the pure extra virgin olive oil lip gloss carefully
applied by Shazza, before blotting with yesterday’s used tea bag, to add a
touch of colour.
The star
of the show, is likely to be a chunky, mature motherly type, who with the help
of smoke and mirrors, will become transformed into a fabulous, sexy goddess.
She will magnificently sing and dance to the re-mixed British Airways theme
tune in a stunning grand finale, watched by millions.
Shares
will rise, the city will be happy, the passengers will be delighted and the sex
goddess (now cloned into a thousand replicas) will be offered a part in Mary
Poppins.
Obviously
Melt plays no role in any of this as we are far too classy for reality TV, and
much too busy chasing the factory for our final samples. But of course if
Stella begs us to lend her our fabulous clothes we would have to consider it
most carefully!
By Susan
Royston
Creative
Director of Melt London
