WHICH SHOE PERSONALITY ARE YOU?

‘I’m going to teach you the perfect walk,’ says a young lady called Melissa, a fashion  adviser at John Lewis, Oxford Street.  Ok, so that would be one foot in front of the other yeah? Melissa is not amused.  ‘You’re so a warrior’ she says, peering down at my flat , but lovely cowboy boots. ‘Purposeful, down to earth, love to look good but love not to have your feet torn apart…’ A what-a?

I have come to the new re-vamped shoe department in John Lewis, where you can learn about your inner shoe personality (yes it sounds odd but apparently every one has one, having just a shoe size is so passé darling).  I am hoping that it will save me from making anymore bad footwear purchases- like my painfully high dominatrix stilettos (ouch), at the time ‘cool’ trainers with weird rubber bits on them and little kitten heels which were way too big and made me fall over on several occasions( again, ouch)…I could go on. And in turn, I was going to be taught how to make ‘use’ of my walk so that I feel comfortable and confident etc etc.

My tutor for the day,  Melissa, is a neat, brunette in dark uniform wearing high black heels and dark plum lipstick.  I notice that when she walks, this girl means business.  She takes very small but quick steps.  ‘I am a lover,’ she coos.  ‘Welcoming, open but not at all intimidating.’  According to Melissa, who has been trained by the master of movement at Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre, there are 4 ‘footwear’ personalities. A Queen, Lover, Warrior (me!) and a Magician, are the different people we slip into depending on our mood and situation.

I am definitely not a Queen type.  To be a Queen, you have to ‘imagine you’re wearing a very heavy crown or cape,’ she says, pressing down me shoulders.  ‘When you turn, you turn with your whole body not just your head.  It gives you authority.’  Wow, I didn’t think that there was so much to think about when simply walking but hey, it’s all in the name of research.

Next up is the ‘Lover’, which Melissa perfectly demonstrates by tottering with short, quick steps, palms open, ready to ‘receive’.  She says it is the most powerful of all walks because it shows that you are not too afraid to make yourself look vulnerable. ‘Men respond to it really well too,’ she winks. Now I love the stiletto, but when I wear them they make my bum stick outside (so much that Beyonce would be out-bummed) and they make me walk like a camp giraffe.  To help me walk more like a looooover she shows me this trick made famous by Marilyn Monroe, the original lover lover. The trick is to wear a three inch heel on one foot, and a five inch on the other, then boom! one hip is thrown out to one side.  It’s a miracle! I have the perfect wiggle, try it at home, alone may I add.

I don’t have any problem perfecting the ‘Warrior’, since apparently that’s what I am.  Although, I do feel like a complete prat when I am left standing there holding out an arm (‘Think of it as your sword’, she goes…) in front of me while I walk.  The magician’s preferred footwear is a pair of trainers.  According to Melissa, we all have abit of magician in us. ‘It’s the art of distraction,’ she says whilst dancing around in a circle (weird girl, help!).  ‘Imagine you are at a party and you want to leave someone without making them feel like they’ve been left.  You slowly try to make your way around them.’  She has a point, and at least I am not the only one trying this one out!  However, I very rarely wear trainers because I love my girlie treats too much, such as anything with a little cute heel, abit of diamante, sequins and fluff.
So now I know how to get the best out of my walk, but am I cured of my bad choices in buying shoes?  Well, I thought so after my little visit to shoe freak Mel, however, back at home, I proudly show off my new ‘Lover’ shoes- gold, ridiculously high wedges, my mum remarks that I look like a throw back from the 70’s.  Well, at least I can do a good hip rolling wiggle in them!

The ‘How to use your walk consultation’ is available at John Lewis Oxford Street; enq 0207 629 7711 and selected stores nationwide.  Oh and it’s FREE!

SHOE PERSONALITIES…Which one are you?

THE QUEEN
Wears serviceable, low heeled shoes, often in black, brown or navy. Likes to be in control.

THE LOVER
Wears vertiginous heels an wiggles when she walks.  Style is everything, comfort nothing.  Beware- she’s the one all the men will be checking out at parties

THE WARRIOR
Wears flatties, can’t bear being slowed down by high heels which kill your feet. Take care not to get in her way – she’ll probably run you over!

THE MAGICIAN
Prefers to wear trainers, all about comfort and being versatile